'Indianapolis' (S3E6) Quotes: Teriyaki Hairpiece, Angela Lansbury and Portobello Mushrooms

Photo: NBC

• Ron: The lady next to me: a bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy.

• Allergic: For Men

• Jerry: Oh no, way too late. I will be deep into my bath by then.
  Everyone: Ewwww...
  Leslie: Don't let us picture that. 

• Leslie: Tom, I want you to take Ben and make him go to that antihistamine party.

• Name of Andy's new album: April Ludgate Is the Best Ever, Volume 1

• Ann: Leslie, I think Chris is cheating on me.
  Leslie: What?! That lying bastard. Wait, how do you know? 

• Leslie: In high school, they used to call me Angela Lansbury.... But that was because of my haircut. 

• Ron: They just boarded her up like she was some common warehouse. I should have been here. 

• Dude at Bar: What's your name?
  April: Oprah.

• Chris: Ron, would you like some salad?
  Ron: Since I am not a rabbit, no, I don't.

• Ron: What in the devil's name is this?
  Chris: Portobello mushrooms

• Tom: You know what I smell like?
  Ben: A teriyaki hairpiece? 

• Leslie: Another time, a guy invited me to a beautiful picnic with wine and flowers and then, when I tried to sit down, he said, "Don't eat anything. Rebecca's coming." And then he broke up with me.